The practice

Life can be fickle and confront us with many challenges. These challenges are not always possible to prevent and can be too hard to face alone. In that case psychological treatment can provide the support you need, so you will be able to move forwards again.

But even when all seems well, we sometimes are troubled by intense emotions, irrational thoughts or inadequate behaviour. Psychological treatment can then help us to alleviate our troubles, by increasing our insight and creating the necessary change in fixed patterns.

When we are confronted with challenges or troubled by our emotions, thoughts or behaviour, this can also lead us to experience difficulties in our relationships with others or can cause us to get confronted with problems concerning intimacy and sex. Treatment can then help us to lessen tension and see all the options we do have.

This is exactly what I aim to achieve through psychological treatment: To provide support when life is fickle, to change fixed patterns and explore new possibilities. The goal is to get things moving when you feel stuck!

Do you feel stuck? This is the time to reach out!

Praktijk Jolien Spoelstra
Boek Zinderend Leven - Jolien Spoelstra

Zinderend leven in Top 10 Best Book Tips

Zinderend leven – Verbeter je seksleven en vergroot je levensgeluk
has been added to the Top 10 Best Books on Sex!


Relatie problemen - Praktijk Jolien Spoelstra

Relational problems

When people think of ‘relational problems’ they often think of abusive relationships or couples who have lost all respect for each other. Luckily, most relational problems are of a more subtle nature. People who go to relational therapy say that their emotions during an argument often run higher than they find desirable, that they are not able to change certain patterns, that they have difficulty to communicate well or miss feeling connected.

Seksuele problematiek - Praktijk Jolien Spoelstra

Sexual disorders

Sexual problems can be very diverse. You can think of pain during intercourse, vaginismus, erectile dysfunction or problems reaching orgasm. A lot of people experience sexual problems with the person they are in a relationship with. For instance, because one of you wants sex more often or has different sexual desires than the other. When people struggle with their sexual orientation or gender identity, talking to a sexologist can help as well.

Anxiety - Practice Jolien Spoelstra


Anxiety comes in many forms and is very common. Many people suffer from insecurities, they can’t seem to stop ruminating or they report having panic attacks. Sometimes people have a specific anxiety, like a phobia for social situations or the fear of having an illness. They often feel a very strong urge to avoid certain circumstances, which can cause the symptoms to worsen.

Depression - Practice Jolien Spoelstra


When people suffer from a depressive disorder they often report feeling sad, being low on energy and having a lack of interest in activities that they previously found enjoyable. Many people have to deal with a depression at some point in their life, which can have a tremendous impact on themselves and their social environment. Fortunately, effective treatment is available.

Trauma - Practice Jolien Spoelstra


Everyone will have some bad experiences in life, sometimes even shocking ones. Often these experiences slowly leave our memory and stop troubling us. As the saying goes: ‘Time heals all wounds’. When bad experiences keep bothering us we tend to speak of a trauma. Effective methods are available to reduce the symptoms related to traumatic experiences.


Cognitive Behavioural Therapy - CBT

Cognitive behavioural therapy, also known as CBT, has proven its effectiveness in treating mental health issues and has been used for many years. According to the official ‘health care treatment guidelines’ CBT is thé best choice when treating sexual dysfunctions, anxiety and mild to moderate depression.

‘Cognitive Behavioural Therapy’ is actually a compound term that combines ‘cognitive therapy’ and ‘behavioural therapy’. Cognitive therapy focuses on identifying and changing irrational thoughts into rational thoughts. By altering the way you look at things your experience will be different. You will notice that your emotions and behaviour will change as well, because of the change in your thoughts.

Behavioural therapy focuses on identifying and altering the aspects of your behaviour which cause or reinforce your complaints. By changing ineffective behavior into effective behaviour the chance of you getting what you want or need enlarges. This will result in positive emotions and a shift in the way you look at things.

This is how we create motion, there where you got stuck. Your emotions will change in a positive way, your thinking will be rational and your behaviour more effective.

For more information on CBT in English, visit the website of the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies (ABCT). For more information on CBT in Dutch, visit the website of the Vereniging voor Gedragstherapie en Cognitieve Therapie, or VGCt. Jolien Spoelstra is a registered cognitive behavioural therapist and supervisor.

Emotionally Focused Therapy - EFT

Emotionally Focused Therapy, also known as EFT, is an effective therapy for relational problems developed by dr. Sue Johnson. De basis of EFT is the so-called Attachment Theory, which claims that no one is made to be alone. Every human being functions better when in connection with a loved one that is emotionally available and nearby. In the secure proximity of that loved one, we can deal with almost anything!                                                                      

Sometimes, in a relationship emotions can run high and when this happens the proximity of our loved one may not feel secure at all. Partners may make hurtful remarks or may not speak to each other at all anymore. Often couples get stuck in a pattern, where the behaviour of one partner amplifies the behaviour of the other, and the other way around. Many times it proves too difficult for us to stop this dance. When this is the case, EFT can help.

In EFT we use emotions as a way in, to eventually develop a better understanding of each other. Hidden underneath anger or silence is often a lot of pain. Only when you are able to tell your partner what is causing the pain you’re experiencing and what you would like to do differently, the other person can help you out. To get to this point both partners must be willing to open up and show their vulnerabilities.                                                                                   

During EFT therapy we identify negative interaction patterns that developed in your relationship and we will help you to find words for your emotions and to express your needs. Communication between you and your loved one will improve and you will experience more connection.

In the case of verbal, physical or sexual violence EFT is not the right therapy for you. The violence will have to end first. This can be achieved with the help of a therapist that has experience in treating domestic violence and in EFT. Only when the violence has stopped, EFT can help to treat the underlying relational problems.                                                                                                                                                        

For more information on EFT in English, see the website of dr. Sue Johnson or visit the website of The International Centre of Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT). For more information on EFT in Dutch, see the website of Stichting EFT Nederland. Jolien Spoelstra is registered as an EFT couples therapist.


Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing, also known as EMDR, has proven its effectiveness in treating people who suffer from persistent complaints that arise after a traumatic experience. Although EMDR therapy was developed to treat trauma, it can equally be used to treat anxiety. A person who became trapped in a lift may develop a phobia of lifts and a panic disorder could emerge in someone who feels deeply disturbed by a previous panic attack. Painful sexual experiences or childbirth can also be extremely distressing, which can result in anxiety. In such cases, your therapist may also propose EMDR therapy to treat your symptoms.

In EMDR therapy, you will be asked to remember the distressing event and to recall the associated thoughts and emotions. The therapist will then invite you to simultaneously focus on another stimulus. This dual action stimulates the brain’s natural processing system, leading to a decrease in the negative emotions associated with the memory. After treatment you will be able to remember the distressing event, without feeling overwhelmed by your emotions. Your anxiety will lessen or disappear.

For more information on EMDR in English, see the website of the EMDR International Association or the EMDR UK & Ireland. For more information on EMDR in Dutch, see the website of Vereniging EMDR Nederland. Jolien Spoelstra is a trained EMDR therapist.


Supervision is educational and fun! Together with your supervisor you look at complicated cases, evaluate your treatment methods and your role as therapist. Before you begin, it is mandatory to determine your objectives and the number of sessions to be held. Then you’re ready to start…

If you have any questions or wish to make an appointment for supervision, please send an email to or give us a call (0031-6 17 067 499).

NVVS supervision

When you are training to become an NVVS sexologist or NVVS sexual health consultant, you must receive supervision. Jolien Spoelstra is registered as a supervisor with the NVVS. The fee for NVVS supervision is EUR 124,16 per 60-minute session and sessions will usually take place once every three weeks. It is possible to plan sessions via video conference.

See the website of the Nederlandse Wetenschappelijke Vereniging voor Seksuologie (NVVS) for specific accreditation requirements [in Dutch].

VGCt supervision

To register at the VGCt as a cognitive behavioural therapist or cognitive behavioural counsellor you must receive supervision. Jolien Spoelstra is registered as a supervisor at the VGCt. The fee for VGCt supervision is EUR 124,16 per 45-minute session. It is possible to plan double sessions and sessions via video conference.

See the website of the Vereniging voor Gedragstherapie en Cognitieve Therapie (VGCt) for specific accreditation requirements [in Dutch].

“Jolien provides a safe environment and has given me many tips to get started.”

Zorgkaart Nederland

“Very involved and honest. She gives a positive vibe. You really feel that she takes the time to listen carefully to someone.”

Zorgkaart Nederland

“Very nice experience at this practice. Recommended!”

Zorgkaart Nederland

“Life changing! I only wish I had done this sooner.”

Zorgkaart Nederland

You too can live an exhilarating life!

“When your sex life is not going the way you want, it can cost you a lot of energy. It can have a major impact on your relationship and even reduce your happiness in life. But how do you get the sex life that you’re yearning for?

In her exhilarating debut, sexologist Jolien Spoelstra writes openly and without judgement about the sexual complaints she treats in her practice, such as pain during intercourse and decreased sexual desire. With humor and empathy, she describes the people that come to her office and shows you which universal themes often underlie their problems. She also deals with the outdated ideas and misconceptions that stand in the way of female sexual pleasure.

For example, do you still think that it’s normal for sex to hurt once every so often? That when a woman is wet, this means that she is aroused? That there is a difference between a clitoral and a vaginal orgasm? That men are always fin the mood? That sex equals penetration and that having an orgasm means the sex was good? That people in a sexually satisfying relationship don’t masturbate or that fantasizing about someone else means there’s something wrong with your relationship?

If so, then this is the book for you!”

Zinderend Leven - Jolien Spoelstra
Over Jolien Spoelstra

About Jolien

Jolien studied Clinical and Health Psychology at Utrecht University. She subsequently worked for various large mental healthcare institutions throughout the Netherlands.

In the following years she got a postgraduate certificate in Health Care Psychology [gezondheidszorgpsycholoog, or GZ-psycholoog], completed her degree in cognitive behavioural therapy, became an EMDR therapist, got a postgraduate certificate in Sexology [seksuoloog NVVS] and specialized as an EFT-relational therapist.

She is also a registered supervisor affiliated with the Association for Behavioural and Cognitive Therapies [Vereniging voor Gedragstherapie en Cognitieve Therapie, or VGCt] and the Netherlands Scientific Association for Sexology [Nederlandse Wetenschappelijke Vereniging voor Seksuologie, or NVVS].

In 2015 Jolien opened her own practice in Haarlem where she treats people who suffer from relational problems, sexual disorders, anxiety, depression, or trauma.

In addition to her work as a therapist, she writes articles on love and sex for Santé magazine and she is the author of Zinderend leven – Verbeter je seksleven en vergroot je levensgeluk (only available in Dutch).


Contact form


0031-6 17 067 499


Wilhelminastraat 53
2011VL Haarlem, Netherlands

Waiting list

Unfortunately no new clients are accepted at this moment (1st of March 2024).  


Treatment costs are determined by the Dutch Healthcare Authority [Nederlandse Zorgautoriteit, or NZa] and are adjusted every year. You will receive an invoice after each session. 


Jolien Spoelstra works only within the general mental health care [basis GGZ] and ‘contract-free’, which means she is deliberately not contracted by any insurer. In some cases though, psychological treatment will be completely reimbursed and in many cases treatment is partially reimbursed. This depends on the insurance policy that you have (see below). With some insurers you will need a ‘consent statement’ [akkoordverklaring] to apply for reimbursement.

If you want to know wether treatment is completely or partially reimbursed, please contact your insurer!

Insured treatment

In the case of ‘insured treatment’, there will have to be a DSM5 diagnosis of which treatment is reimbursed. Also, you will need a referral from your general practitioner, medical specialist, or a practitioner working in specialized mental health care [gespecialiseerde GGZ].

If you have a non-contracted care policy [restitutiepolis], you are likely to receive 100% of the NZa rate from your insurer. If you have a contracted care policy [naturapolis] you will likely receive 60%-70% of this rate. This means you will have to pay part of the treatment costs yourself. Your insurer can tell you what kind of insurance policy you have and what percentage will be reimbursed. In all cases, it is recommended that you consult your insurance policy.
Do also keep in mind that any possible reimbursement may be subtracted from your deductible.

  • Normally, the first two sessions of treatment are intake sessions. For a 60-minute intake session EUR 183,44 will be charged.
  • For a 45-minute treatment session EUR 135,89 is charged.
  • For a 60-minute treatment session EUR 161,46 is charged.

When treatment sessions take longer (for instance when receiving EMDR treatment), the fee will be higher. Your therapist, insurer and the Dutch Healthcare Authority [Nederlandse Zorgautoriteit, or NZa] can provide you with more information on this topic.

Non-insured treatment

Currently, treatment of for instance sexual disorders, relational problems, grief, problems concerning specific life phases and stress disorders is not reimbursed by most insurers. Sometimes an additional insurance will cover treatment costs. Your insurer will be able to provide you with more information on this topic.

  • Normally, only one intake session is needed. For a non-insured 60-minute intake session EUR 197,73 will be charged.
  • For a non-insured 45-minute treatment session EUR 131,82 is charged.
  • For a non-insured 60-minute treatment session EUR 164,78 is charged.

The rate of non-insured treatment sessions are also determined by the Dutch Healthcare Authority [Nederlandse Zorgautoriteit, or NZa]. You will receive an invoice after each session.


If you need to cancel or reschedule an appointment, you must do so at least 24 hours in advance. You can cancel or reschedule by phone or e-mail.

  • A fee of EUR 131,82 will be charged for cancellations within less than 24 hours of the appointment (also in circumstances beyond your control, e.g. sickness, weather or traffic conditions).

Note: The fees mentioned above apply when insurers do not have a contract with the concerning practitioner. When an insurer does have a contract with a practitioner, other fees may apply.

Legislation and regulations

General and Specialized Mental Health Care

Jolien Spoelstra works within the general mental health care [basis GGZ]. In general mental health care you can get treatment of a complaint or disorder that is not excessively complex in nature and does not pose any risk.

A complex mental health problem is one which is difficult to treat due either to other problems, such as personality disorders, severe physical complaints or to psychosocial problems. A risk would be a situation that involves violence, neglect, self-harm or threatening suicide. If your reasons for seeking treatment are complex or pose a risk, you should seek treatment in specialized mental health care [gespecialiseerde GGZ].

Quality Statute

As of 1 January 2017, healthcare institutions are required to prepare a quality statute and make it available to clients. Should you wish to receive a copy of Jolien Spoelstra’s Quality Statute, please request such from your practitioner. 


Jolien Spoelstra is registered as a Health Care Psychologist in the BIG-register  (BIG nr. 59912423325). For more information, see the website of the BIG-register [in Dutch].

General Data Protection Regulation Act (GDPR)

Praktijk Jolien Spoelstra, registered with the Dutch Chamber of Commerce under no. 63540258, values the privacy of your personal data. This privacy statement explains how Jolien Spoelstra processes the personal data of identified or identifiable natural persons, as described in the Dutch General Data Protection Regulation Act (GDPR).

This privacy statement applies to the following categories of natural persons whose data is processed by Jolien Spoelstra:
• (potential) patients (including supervisees and persons in training therapy);
• visitors to the website or;
• (potential) participants in meetings organised by Jolien Spoelstra;
• (potential) job applicants, any temporary staff or self-employed workers without employees working for Jolien Spoelstra;
• any other persons who contact Jolien Spoelstra about psychotherapy, or whose personal data is processed by Jolien Spoelstra, with the exception of its employees.

Processing personal data
Jolien Spoelstra processes the following personal data:
• data provided directly by the involved party (during a session or meeting), either by telephone or electronically (by e-mail or forms on the website), such as contact details or other personal data;
• data obtained from other healthcare providers or referees with the consent of the involved party;
• data generated while visiting the website of Jolien Spoelstra.

Reason for processing
Jolien Spoelstra uses personal data for the following purposes:
• establishing a medical treatment contract and invoicing the completed work;
• remaining in touch, e.g., invitations for appointments and information requested by the involved party;
• improving the website or or updating user statistics. User statistics for the website include information on the number of visitors, the duration of the visit, which parts of the website are viewed, and click behaviour. The generic reports based on this data cannot be traced back to individual users.

Legal basis
Jolien Spoelstra processes data on the basis of one of the following legal grounds:
• with the express consent of the involved party. The party is entitled to withdraw consent at any time, without compromising the lawfulness of data processed prior to the withdrawal of consent;
• establishing (a potential) medical treatment contract, including the invoicing of third parties, such as healthcare insurance companies and so on;
• to fulfil a legal requirement, such as, e.g. an obligation to maintain a medical dossier or to register a client’s BSN (citizen’s service number);
• for a legitimate interest, such as using contact details for the purpose of setting up a meeting.

Jolien Spoelstra is permitted to make use of service providers (processors) to process personal data provided this occurs with strict adherence to the instructions of Jolien Spoelstra. A processors contract shall be signed by Jolien Spoelstra and any processors retained for the purpose of data processing. Any such contract shall comply with the requirements described in the GDPR.

Sharing personal data with third parties
Jolien Spoelstra shares personal data with third parties as required by the treatment (for example, for a referral) or in order to comply with legal requirements. Jolien Spoelstra does not share personal data with third parties for any commercial purpose, except when events are organised in collaboration with another organisation. In such cases, only the personal data needed for contacting the involved party will be shared. 

Your practitioner has a duty of confidentiality as defined in the Dutch Medical Treatment Contracts Act (WGBO) and is obliged to comply with the Code of Conduct for Psychologists, available on the website of the Netherlands Association of Psychologists & Psychotherapists in Independent Practice (LVVP).

Transfer of data outside the EEA
In principle, Jolien Spoelstra does not exchange personal data with parties in countries outside the European Economic Area (EEA). In exceptional cases where this is necessary, Jolien Spoelstra must ensure that data is only transferred to recipient countries which have either been designated by the European Commission as providing an adequate level of data protection or have in place appropriate safeguards as defined by the GDPR.  

Data retention
Jolien Spoelstra only retains data for as long as necessary. In principle, Jolien Spoelstra applies the following data retention periods:
• medical records: at least 15 years after the end of the treatment contract;
• accounting and administrative records: 7 years after recording the information;
• records of staff and self-employed workers without employees (other than financial or administrative): 5 years after leaving employment or discontinuing the service agreement;
• job applicant records: 6 months after the end of the application process;
• website visitor data: 5 years after the last visit to the website, unless a visitor makes their objection known before the expiration of that period, in which case the data will be destroyed.

Changes to the privacy statement
Jolien Spoelstra retains the right to change this privacy statement at any time. Please see for the latest version of the privacy statement. Refer regularly to the privacy statement so that you are aware of any changes. 

Rights, questions and complaints
You have the right to request that Jolien Spoelstra allow you to view your personal data, and to request that action be taken by Jolien Spoelstra to rectify it, to remove it, to transfer it, to restrict the processing of data or to object to the processing thereof, as the case may be. To do so, please send an e-mail to your practitioner at You do not have any rights to information that was received in confidentiality from others who – with your permission – are involved in your treatment. Nor do you have the right to inspect the therapist’s notes.

If you have questions or complaints about the way in which Jolien Spoelstra processes personal data or otherwise, please contact your practitioner by email at We endeavour to resolve all complaints satisfactorily. If you are not satisfied, you may refer your complaint to the Dutch Data Protection Authority (Dutch DPA). 

If you have a complaint about your treatment or your practitioner, always discuss it with the practitioner first. If this does not resolve your dispute, you can contact the LVVP and they can put you in touch with one of their complaints officers. In the event that the complaints mediation process proves unsatisfactory, you may then refer your complaint to an independent complaints authority, the Dutch Foundation for Consumer Complaints Board, which can offer a wider variety of dispute settlement options, including referral to the Central Disciplinary Committee for the Healthcare Sector or civil court. 

In case of crisis

Normally the practice is open during office hours on Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays. On these days you can contact your therapist.

In case of crisis when the practice is closed or you are unable to reach us, you are advised to contact your general practitioner, the emergency post or the crisis centre.

Praktijk Jolien Spoelstra

Wilhelminastraat 53, 2011 VL Haarlem, Netherlands