Shape Your Love Life

Growing up in a progressive family, but in a very religious town, I quickly realized that each of us has our own truth. Our own vision, shaped by personal experiences and the stories we've been told.

During my studies in Clinical and Health Psychology at Utrecht University, this belief was not only reinforced but also broadened. The stories we’ve been told don’t just shape us; every person ís their own story.

After graduating, I worked at various specialized mental healthcare institutions throughout the Netherlands and completed my post-master’s degree in Healthcare Psychology, specialization in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and training as an EMDR therapist. With each specialization, the stories I heard took on a different focus.

A satisfying love life contributes to your happiness.

What struck me during my work at various institutions was the lack of attention for sexuality and relationships. Yet, from the stories I heard, I gathered that these topics were essential for many people. They either contributed to their happiness or detracted from it.

So I shifted my focus and completed the post-master’s program to become a Sexologist (NVVS) and an EFT relational therapist. Since then, I’ve been working at the intersection of relationships and sex, guiding people to explore their experiences and beliefs and shape their love lives so it fits them best!

I now have over 20 years of experience as a therapist and work in my private practice in Haarlem. I also have a regular column in Santé Magazine and my debut book, Zinderend Leven (Exhilirating Life), was published in 2022. I teach at the post-master program in Sexology in Utrecht and work as a media spokesperson for the NVVS (Dutch Scientific Association of Sexologists).

In addition to my work as a Sexologist (NVVS) and EFT Relationship Therapist, I am also an author, lecturer, speaker, and media spokesperson. As such, I am available for interviews and bookings as a lecturer and public speaker on relationships and sex.

Topic I speak about include:

Diversity in Relationships – How do we place the concepts of ‘monogamy’ and ‘consensual non-monogamy’ in a cultural-historical perspective and how do people make the transition from a monogamous relationship to a consensually non-monogamous relationship, such as an open relationship or polyamory?
Good sex in a long-term relationship – What people manage to maintain a satisfying sex life in a long-term relationship, and what can we learn from them? How can the dynamics in your relationship cause, perpetuate, or exacerbate sexual problems, and what can you do to change this?

Interested? Feel free to contact me!

October 2, 2025

SCEM conference ‘Seksuality in your consultation room'

On October 2, 2025, I will be giving a live therapy session at the SCEM conference. This conference will be of interest to psychiatrists, psychologists, gynecologists, obstetricians, sexologists, addiction specialists, general practitioners, mental health nurses (POH-GGZ), and others.

November 12, 2025

BNNVARA Podcast ‘Echte Oogappels’

I’ll soon be a guest on Margreet Reijntjes’ podcast ‘Echte Oogappels’ based on the popular Dutch TV series. Want to know how to keep sex going in a long-term relationship? The podcast will be available everywhere starting November 12, 2025.