“I always fall asleep right after sex,” Erwin says decidedly. “How exactly do you mean that?” I ask as openly as possible. “Well, just as I said… After an orgasm I fall asleep right away, there’s nothing I can do about that. It just happens.” He looks briefly at Ella, his wife, who nods affirmatively. “What’s that like for you then, Ella?” I inquire.
“Well, I’m used to it. It is what it is…,” she replies seemingly calm. But the weary undertone is hard to miss.
“Okay, so you guys are seeing me because of your difference in sexual desire. Right?” Now they both nod. “You want more,” I say to Erwin. “You want less,” I look at Ella. “Now Ella explained to me earlier that it takes quite a lot of effort to get in the mood. She needs a sense of connection first. And with your busy lives, there’s not much room for that. Did I understand that correctly?” I ask both of them. Erwin and Ella look at each other for a moment. “Yes, that’s right,” Ella replies.
“Okay, but very occasionally, despite all the hustle and bustle, you feel that connection and then the two of you have sex. But after Erwin orgasms, he falls asleep right away… How does that make you feel, Ella?”
Both Erwin and I are looking at Ella. “Well… lonely actually … it makes me feel very alone,” she says cautiously. “Why is that?” I continue. “Well, it just feels really nice, when I feel that connection with Erwin. But just when I get in the mood, all of a sudden that connection is gone again.”
