“We slowly lost each other,” Mare begins to recount. “We always got along really well and the sex was always nice, but…” For a moment she looks sideways at her husband, Idris. “But … somehow we lost that and now I don’t know if we’ll ever find each other again.” Idris is silent, tellingly playing with the ring on his finger.
“Many couples who have been together for a long time come with a similar story,” I tell both of them. “Life is fickle, so sometimes it’s challenging and a lot can happen between two people. Thus, lovers can become distant over the years.” Both nod. “Yet we all know couples who manage to keep a good connection. So what do those couples do differently?”
At this, both Mare, and Idris raise their eyebrows. “Uhm, are you asking me that question?” says Idris with a tone as if he’s being asked an unexpected question by a teacher. Mare reassuringly puts her hand on his knee. “A good friend of mine has been with her partner for a long time and they still have a good sexlife. She says that’s because they really plan time together,” she then responds.
“Ah, very good. That is indeed important,” I say. “Couples that manage to maintain a good the sexual connection prioritize intimacy and sex. They value it and make time for it, even when a lot of other stuff is going on and life is challenging.” Idris relaxes visibly, now that the question has been answered.
