“If we ever have children, of course they will go to my parents,” Madelon says. “I won’t bring them to a nursery. That’s pathetic! Besides, my parents would love to babysit.”
“What’s wrong with a nursery, my parents put me in a nursery. And besides, if we let your parents babysit, we’ll probably have to let them live with us when they can no longer take care of themselves,” Harm responds with a mock laugh.
“Well, why would that be a problem,” Madelon says in surprise. “They’re my parents, after all. I’d do the same for yours, you know!” Harm looks feral. This was not how he had imagined the future. Then Madelon rubs his back. “You can be so selfish sometimes… We’re family now after all, honey,” she tries to reassure him. Harm turns his back away from her. “Pff… selfish… Maybe you should break free from your parents,” he growls.
It sometimes seems like partners are diametrically opposed. As if they are on opposite ends of a spectrum. On one side, you see that people value self-development and autonomy, the freedom to make their own choices and arrange their lives as they see fit. To some extend, they are willing to give up the safety and social network that a group can provide.
On the other end of the spectrum, you see people that like to be with others and really value getting support when things go badly or feeling part of a group.
