Santé – Climaxing your way

Published in Santé magazine
On Jan. 18, 2024

On a Friday morning in autumn, I see Feline and Masha, two young girls from Amsterdam. A little loud and with a coffee-to-go, they walk into my practice. Only when they are settled on my couch, they both quiet down a bit.

“Actually, I have been using a vibrator since the beginning and find it very difficult to come in any other way,” Feline starts. “Look, I also use a toy sometimes, so I really don’t see that as a problem, but it does feel kind of weird if you can only orgams with a toy,” Masha responds. “So what kind of toy do you have?” I ask Feline.

“I have a few, but my G-spot vibrator is my fav, the one I use the most,” she says. “And what makes you use that toy the most?” I then ask. “Uhm, well, I just really like having my G-spot stimulated, it gives the very best orgasm, doesn’t it?” Feline pulls her shoulders up slightly and looks at her friend. She seems to be seeking reassurance. “Honestly, I never really felt anything special there,” Masha says hesitantly. After which they both turn their gaze to me.

"Well, you know," I begin, "the G-spot doesn't exist at all. Extensive research has been done, but no special area has been found where the G-spot is supposed to be."

Feline raises one of her eyebrows in surprise as she continues listening. “Yet many G-spot vibrators are sold and many women like to be stimulated that way. This is probably because it involves stimulation of the clitoris from the inside. Media often distinguishes between a clitoral and a G-spot orgasm, but in both cases the clitoris is stimulated. Either from the inside or the outside” “Oh my god,” Feline responds. “I really didn’t know that… Then why can I only cum when it’s stimulated from the inside?” she asks.

“Well, that probably has to do with habituation. If you often come in a certain way, you get better at it and it becomes, so to speak, your way. It can then become more difficult to come in any different way. But when you practice, of course you’ll get better at that too.” Masha laughs softly, to which Feline looks at her a little perturbed. “Not that you have to, mind you, cum in multiple ways,” I add. “You don’t have to change anything if you don’t want to.” “No, I get that,” Feline says. She looks at Masha. “But for sex with you, it would be more fun, right?”