In my practice there is a very large couch with lots of cushions on it. People can decide for themselves how they sit on that couch. Sometimes this leads to an extensive discussion about who sits where, sometimes a couple crawls comfortably close together. Anna and Johan, however, seek a spot as far away from each other as possible without consultation.
Anna even turns her back slightly toward Johan. My very large couch, doesn’t seem big enough for this couple. When I ask what is going on, Anna tells me that Johan cheated and how angry she is about this. “I didn’t get anything at home. You gave me no choice, you just let me starve!” Johan then shouts.
Many times, I’ve heard similar statements. Statements in which people compare their sexual desire to hunger or thirst. This comparison stems from the outdated idea that the desire for sex is a drive, a need that must be satisfied in order to survive. Food and drink are indeed necessities. Because if you don’t eat or drink, you die. But to my knowledge, no one has ever died from not having enough sex. However, people can get very frustrated by it. A feeling that often arises when we don’t get our way. our sexual desire is therefore exactly what the term implies…
