Across the room from me sits Sushma, a friendly young woman in leggings and a warm woolen sweater. Nervously, she is scratching the polish off her nails. “I can orgasm,” she begins to tell me. “But just not during sex.” She looks a little crestfallen. “But, then, when do you orgasm, if not during sex?” I ask.
“Uhm, oh yeah… I don’t mean I suddenly cum during shopping, mind you,” she laughs. “But I just don’t orgasm during sex. I do when I satisfy myself and also during fingering or kissing, but not through penetration.”
“When I hear you correctly, it sounds like you can reach orgasm just fine during sex,” I respond. She thinks for a moment. “Yeah, okay… I get your point. You probably mean that those things I mentioned are sex too, right?” I nod. “But you know, I just want to be able to cum while having penetrative sex as well, just like any other woman. That’s normal, isn’t it?” There’s that sad glance again. “Wait a minute, Sushma,” I tell her. “I think I need to explain something.”
The vast majority of all women do not come through penetration alone. This is because there are very few nerve endings in the vagina and therefore you don’t actually feel much on the inside. For most woman to climax, the clitoris must be stimulated. The clitoris, or the clitoral complex as it is called these days, runs from that one little pleasure bud at the top of the vulva all the way around the entrance to the vagina. Through penetration, the clitoral complex can be stimulated indirectly.
