“I used to go home with guys I had just met. I also liked to dress real sexy. I was fearless and I would like that back!” She looks pretty, a hip mom with bright pink sneakers on. “Do you know when you became more reserved?” I respond. “Hmm, that’s a good question,” she looks at the ceiling. “I think when I really fell in love with my current boyfriend. Strange really, isn’t it?”
“It’s not that strange,” I tell her. “Some women find it easier to be sexy when they don’t really have a connection with someone. But when a relationship gets serious, they sometimes have more trouble with this.” She moves to the edge of the couch. “I recognize that, that’s what I have!”
Many girls are told early on not to dress too sexy and not to sleep with just anyone. If they do, they get called a slut or a whore. Also, men are taught that a woman who is sexually adventurous is not relationship material. However, once in a relationship, a woman is often expected to be sexually confident and free. If not, she gets told that she’s frigid. It seems quite logical to me that women get confused!
For this reason, women sometimes find it easier to let themselves go during casual sex. After all, they are not looking for a relationship then and therefore do not need to be seen as relationship material. But as soon as things get more serious, they feel they have to behave themselves. As if there are two women, two sides that are difficult to unite in the same person.
